I was off work this year for the better part of 6 months. It is very frustrating looking for work in my field. I’ve had 4 interviews during the time I was off work. The last two jobs were ideal fits to my experience and education, and I was excited about the possibilities of working at either position. I was better prepared, more confident, and more relaxed through these interviews than I was for any interviews I have done in the past. So, I was pretty shocked when I got the dreaded phone call/email saying that someone else was offered the job and accepted. It was a major blow as I had all the confidence in the world that at least one of the jobs was mine. It is frustrating when the interviewers for both positions, before the interview even starts, asks “So, with all of your education and experience working in NB, why are you interested in coming to work here?”. Cripes, these were jobs in Nova Scotia and Maine, it wasn’t like I was applying for a job in Russia! Everything I have been taught in terms of biology, wildlife management, and ecology, as well as all the species that I know of or worked on, are certainly applicable to multiple regions. Sometimes, it really feels that there is a bias against me because of the choices I made in getting my education and experience in New Brunswick. I thought I was doing everything right in terms of getting my education (and at a graduate level), good experience, excellent work record, and stellar references. But that is still not good enough. I am truly at a loss as to what is going on.
There is some good news. I started a new job in December. After being off work for the past 6 months, I was very thankful for the work and the steady paycheque again, as well as being able to work close to home. It is a bit disappointing at the same time; of the three jobs I interviewed for in a one-week period, this is the one I wanted the least, and did not expect to get at all. It is not what I want to be doing in my career. The job is more of a wet-behind-the-ears job for someone fresh out of university, and certainly not what someone with my education (3 university degrees, one of which is a Masters) and experience (7 years as a wildlife biologist) should be doing. It is a definitely not a good fit for me long-term; it is a massive pay cut (>12,000/year), and a major step backwards in terms of my career goals. Government is also a very difficult place to work during this current economic climate; there is lots of uncertainty and feelings of unease. I’ve found the bureaucracy simply does not care how good of a job you do, and if you are not part of management, you can be cut at any time. As far as I know right now, I am on a 3 month probationary period, after which they “might” bring me on for a year-long contract, but even that is subject to the whims of a spring budget. They are a great group of people to work for/with, and the work atmosphere is great, but it simply is not where I want to be at this stage in my career. That being said, I am looking at finding ways where I can contribute positively, give my very best while I am on the job, and enjoy my time that I am there. I am determined to make this a positive experience for both myself and my employer while I am there.
It was rough being off work these last 6 months. Elizabeth and I burned through almost all of our saving for the down payment on our house, and increased our amount owing on our line of credit to stay afloat. It is very frustrating to struggle so much in my chosen career when others with less education and experience seem to succeed. Over the past 3 years, I have seen my pay steadily decrease to almost half of what I used to make, and my roles and responsibilities change drastically from what I wanted in terms of my career at this point. Very, very, frustrating to say the least. I am hopeful that this will be the year things finally turn around for us. There simply are no good career options for either my wife or I in Fredericton, or even New Brunswick at this point. So, we are simply waiting things out. I know that I have not been an easy person to live with during this time, so I am grateful for such a loving and forgiving family.
Emeline is growing by leaps and bounds. We celebrated her birthday with a family party on the 15th followed by her actual birthday on the 17th, so she got to be messy with 2 cakes instead of one. She has now started saying “Hi” and “Bye”, waving, and giving kisses. It is a big thrill when she comes running up saying “Hi Dah” and puts her hands out to be picked up. October ends up being a really busy month for us, as my birthday starts it off (the 5th), then Elizabeth’s mother (the 15th), then the girls (Lily’s on the 27th, Hannah’s the 29th). My Grandmother’s birthday (she has been gone since 1995) was on the 23rd, and my Dad’s (gone since 2010) the 25th- which means three generations of my family celebrate birthdays within a 6 day period. The girls ended up having two birthdays each: a fun party with a few close friends, followed by a party with the family (us plus my sister and her kids). My birthday this year turned out to be one of the worst I can remember. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong: gifts that didn’t fit; a birthday cake that didn’t want to cook right and ended being raw and doughy in the centre; and, a nephew who threw up all over the table at the restaurant so that we didn’t finish our meal. Combine that with my feeling low over my job/financial situation, and it made for a pretty poor day for myself and the girls.
Christmas has come and gone, and it was a mix of joy and sadness for the family, as is typical for us now. On top of missing both our fathers at this time of year, December 25th marked 6 months to the day where our 11 year old niece, Cynthia, passed away after her battle from cancer. Elizabeth’s sister, husband, and 3 kids travelled by train from Mississippi to Vermont, then on by car to Bathurst to spend the Christmas holidays with the family. They left on January 1st to catch the train back. It was great seeing them and hopefully they will be back up again soon. They are expecting the arrival of a new baby girl in early April. Someday, I hope our whole family will be able to make the long drive down to see them.
In terms of Christmas Day, as is typical, it was Elizabeth who seemed more excited than the kids; she was awake since 5:30AM, eagerly waiting for the girls and I to wake up. Hannah and Lily got what they asked Santa for (Journey Girls, along with accessories), plus some special gifts from Elizabeth and I: Hannah got a new camera (water, shock and cold resistant; it will really take a beating if need be); Lily got a Nintendo DSi. The baby got an assortment of toys and clothes. I gave Elizabeth, among other things, a pair of dangly earrings with leaves attached to them, in honor of her PhD in Forestry. Elizabeth and the girls got me a paint kit/easel, and Photoshop Elements; by what I can tell it should allow to me to edit out unwanted elements, make photos more crisp and clear, stitch together panoramas, you name it. The possibilities seem endless, and I am really looking forward to playing around with it.
This almost became the Christmas that never was. Because of our finances, Elizabeth and I were not buying for any adults in our families except for our Moms, and only buying for nieces and nephews. We were not planning to buy each other anything, and only buying for the girls. And then, with less than a week before Christmas, two things happened: first, a financial gift in the form of a research grant from a former professor of Elizabeth’s; then, a short-term contract offer for me to do some species at risk work with the federal government. God is truly great and I feel he blesses us at the time we have always needed it the most. So we were able to have a few gifts for each other under the tree after all. The money will also allow Elizabeth to enroll in one more semester to finish up her PhD, and allow us to offset my paycheque for a few more months so we can pay the bills without going further into debt.
During my last post in July (wow, I really neglected my personal blog), I mentioned Elizabeth being close to completing her PhD. The reality is that a PhD is difficult, especially at the end stages, and the unexpected is bound to happen. She was actually close to finishing in November, until her supervisor realized a major issue with the results she was generating; it turned out there was a bit of code in her statistical analysis program that shouldn’t have been there, throwing everything out of whack. She had to delay the final review and publication of one of her papers, redo virtually all of her runs and graphs, and resubmit her papers for review by her committee. She has persevered and will hopefully have it all buttoned up by next week, with an expectation of the oral defense scheduled sometime in February.
One thing I am guilty of is not taking the time to learn more about her research. I always make the joke that when she starts to talk about her data and statistical analyses, my eyes glaze over. I am not good with math, which makes it difficult for me to understand the details of her research, the analyses she uses, etc. My wife is absolutely brilliant and sees things, understands things, that I simply don’t when it comes to data; it almost seems to come to life for her. As soon as possible, I am going to ask her for a copy of her publications and thesis. I am going to make a conscious effort to better understand her world of forestry.
As for myself, I managed to hit a few personal goals this year. I finished my geocaching calendar by finding caches on September 2nd and November 24th, the last two dates I need to find a cache on. I also exceeded my goal of finding 1,000 caches in a single year; my current total sits at 1,074 finds for this year. Geocaching goal for next year: hit 4,000 total finds. I am hoping to ramp up my physical activity level more in the coming year, and bring my weight down.
We are hopeful that the new year will bring with it new and better things for our family. Elizabeth has said that we are likely at the lowest point we will ever be at in terms of our career and financial struggles, and we just need to get past this hump. She is right. I just need to keep reminding myself of it.
I close with one of my favourite photos of the Christmas season: a picture of my girls on Christmas Eve, in front of the tree in Bathurst, NB. Enjoy.
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